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Your money’s no good here.
We’ve moved items for purchase to and to our increasingly estranged This page remains to display items we once had thought of selling and hoped to work the bugs out of.

Note that #09 Christmas Possum Prep Pak below was to have been a real thing. We’d developed content, built a Shopify site, even found lightweight and appealing packaging to reduce shipping costs. Then we couldn’t stop thinking of that woman in North Dakota at her mailbox.

This page turned out pretty Christmas-y, didn’t it? One of our holiday traditions each year will be to visit this page and consider whether it should be cut. But we suspect we will keep it, along with the shabby wire-limbed felt elf that our parents bought their first Christmas together.

#023 — Hell Tube Map Nail Shields.
Never get lost again. Just consult the tiny thumbnail tube map and know when you’ve arrived at your station, or festation, or manifestation of Hell.
#09 — Christmas Possum Prep Pak.
Give them the gift they’ll never forgive. “Your Christmas Possum arrives in two to three business days. Inside this envelope you’ll find everything you need to get ready.”
We had fun writing and designing content (care and feeding booklet, recipe cards, a whimsical possum tree ornament/air freshener, etc.), and presented properly it appeared perfectly viable with a certain kind of market. But we’re not really pranksters.
#44 — Hell Tube Map Corn Labyrinth.
Get lost again. This is the William Blake Hell Tube Map Corn Labyrinth motherboard module for the John Deere MBc-26 Harvester-Sys™ Series. Comes with factory Garamond package.

open me first!

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