Store

Your money’s no good here.
‍We’ve moved items available for purchase to 118els.com.

This page remains to display items we once had thought of selling and hoped to work the bugs out of. The things in the right-hand column are just ads; we don’t sell any of those things either.

Note that #09 Christmas Possum Prep Pak below was intended to have been a real thing for sale. We’d developed content, built a Shopify site, found lightweight and appealing packaging to reduce shipping costs—

But then we couldn’t stop thinking of that woman in North Dakota opening her mailbox.

This page turned out pretty Christmas-y. One of our holiday traditions each year will be to re-visit this page and consider whether it should be cut. But we suspect we will keep it along with the shabby wire-limbed felt elf our parents bought their first Christmas together.

Item #023 — Hell Tube Map Nail Shields.
Never get lost again. Just consult the tiny thumbnail tube map and know when you’ve arrived at your station, or festation, or manifestation of Hell.

NOT AVAILABLE IN STORES

Item #09 — Christmas Possum Prep Pak.
Give them the gift they’ll never forgive:
‍“Your Christmas Possum arrives in two to three business days. Inside this envelope you’ll find everything you need to get ready.”

We had fun writing and designing content (care and feeding booklet, recipe cards, a whimsical possum tree ornament/air freshener, etc.), and presented properly it appeared perfectly viable with a certain kind of market. But we’re not really pranksters at heart.

FUNNY, BUT KIND OF FUNNY-MEAN

Item #44 — Hell Tube Map Corn Labyrinth.
Get lost again. This is the William Blake Hell Tube Map Corn Labyrinth motherboard module for the John Deere MBc-26 Harvester-Sys™ Series. Comes with factory Garamond package.

STUCK IN BETA

open me first!

. . .